Are You There Television? It’s Me, Amy. Hi.

Neilson’s 2009 data showed that the average American watches approximately 153 hours of television every month. That’s about 5 hours a day! How is that even possible? That equates to about 2 months of nonstop TV-watching per year. No wonder we are all overweight and depressed with distorted views of reality. If that fat, disillusioned, average American lives until 65, that person will have spent about 9 years on their couch watching a blinking box.

I’m almost positive that number has gone up in the last year thanks to mind-blowing shows like the Jersey Shore.

I was stunned with this number until I considered my own television habits. A year ago, I didn’t have cable and I didn’t miss it. I was a full time student working a full time job who absolutely did not have time for television. Comcast Cable apparently didn’t like the fact that I wasn’t paying for 200 channels, so they offered me a deal. I accepted, and the rest is history. Consider me a full blown television junkie.

Television Shows I’m currently watching on a regular basis and my short rationalizations for each:

Modern Family-ABC: Hands down the best/funniest/smartest show on television right now. The writing and characterizations are spot on. Steven Levitan and Christopher Lloyd.. you are genuises.

Community- NBC: I have a soft spot in my heart for Chevy Chase. Plus it’s a little snarky. I like snarky.

United States of Tara- Showtime: Amy = Psychologist; Plot Base = Dissociative Identity Disorder; Psychologist + Dissociative Identity Disorder = happy happy joy joy

Real Housewives of New York City-Bravo: Oh the drama. I love watching grown women act like teenagers. It’s a train wreck and I can’t look away.

Lost- ABC: I told myself I wasn’t going to do it. It seemed overwhelming and complicated with a crazy involved fan base. But I jumped in with DVDs while the show was in its 4th season. Now I’m all caught up. And I'm a part of that crazy/involved fan base.

The Big Bang Theory- CBS: Jim Parsons plays one of my favorite characters on television. How you not cringe and embrace the wonderful awkwardness that is Sheldon?

How I Met Your Mother- CBS: This is just a great cast. The next Friends, anyone?

Project Runway-Lifetime: I like fashion. And I like creative people. I like watching creative people create fashion.

The runners up: I watch these on occasion, when I catch them.

Biggest Loser-NBC: I actually enjoyed this show until it turned into one big product placement. But I continue to watch every so often. Why? Whyyyy?

Glee-Fox: I absolutely love musicals. And I love that this show doesn’t take itself too seriously. Ryan Murphy created Nip/Tuck and Popular. Both were shows that I enjoyed. He does ‘over the top’ well. I watch Glee when I’m not overly embarrassed by the horrible lipsynching. The fact the Jonathan Groff is now on the show, will probably keep me watching.

Hoarders- A&E- This generates a mild case of schadenfreude. I wouldn’t say I’m actually taking delight in the hoarders’ misfortunes, but I’m damn glad that any level of mess that’s in my house is not nearly as bad as the mess in their houses. In related news, it also motivates me to clean and purge.


That’s a steady 9 hours a week of television watching for me. That’s a little embarrassing. I try to make a conscious effort to limit my tv time (if you can consider 9 hours a week “limiting”). But then there’s the occasional special or nightly news, and the shows that are on either before or after the show I am attempting to watch. So that 9 can actually turn into 10 or 12 by the end of the week.

It’s so easy to come home after a stressful day and zone-out in front of the tube. I have to constantly remind myself that the zoning-out disguises itself as a stress-reliever. When in reality, for me, it’s a stress delayer. I don’t need 12 hours of television in my week. Sure, it’s mildly entertaining (except for Modern Family which is ridiculously entertaining), but what is it really adding to my life?

Can you possibly live a fulfilled life if you’re watching someone else’s fake television life for 5 hours a day? I guess I’ll continue to be a conscious television watcher and stick to the shows I really enjoy. As long as I’m not scheduling my life around television shows, I’m ok, right?

[I don’t know what’s more disturbing: those people who watch 35 hours of television a week. Or those people who spend an hour reflecting and rationalizing the 8-10 hours of television that they watch.]

What’s your television-watching data? Can you defend your television choices? Enlighten me.